Sundance Stories Part 1

Sundance my first FULL day:Ok, as most of you know I was at Sundance Film Festival this past week working for Stella Artois. I got this amazing gig b/c Mindy (aka the coolest mom ever) is good friends with Margaret Nathan, who runs PR for Stella and is based out of Park City, UT (where the festival is held). I had a lot of responsibilities, most of them fun, some of them tedious. It wasn't all fun and games; I did a lot of running around and got little to no sleep. But I also had the most ridiculous time ever. So outrageous in fact, that the days and nights blur together, so retelling the story is going to be slightly difficult. But I'll try.
My first day there I arrived from the airport and then I basically ran around and met everyone I would be working with over the next week. There were tent guys, audio guys, bouncers, assistants, executives, everyone. Late this night my little buddy Clayton arrived from Canada. He is the son of Lisa, who works with Margaret, so he and I were in this thing together. I went to bed around 1 and woke up the next day at 7:30. I spent all day running around and doing things for the first podcast that we shot.
This is the time of the infamous "Screech Incident". Basically, it went like this: I'm standing out front of the patio smoking a cig. Dustin Diamond is walking by and Clayton goes "Oh my god, say something to him." So I shout "Hey Dustin! I'll buy a shirt to save your house." Burn. He stops and comes over to us...with his camera crew. Turns out he is filming his attempt to "out-swag" Gary Coleman. He hit us up for some Stella stuff, so we gave him just about everything we could find. We gave him glassware, bottle openers, a fleece, and... a Stella Artois red carpet. We then laid the red carpet out, linked arms and walked the red carpet while people in the tent clapped. I made an ass out of myself on his "documentary". Then the cameras shut off and he lingered around the patio talking to me for WAAAAY to long. Finally I said I had to go. I needed a drink.
The drinking started at 4 when the Stella Artois Patio opened. Now, the patio was a thing of wonder. It was a larger L-shaped structure that was erected on the patio of the "Sundance House" in the Kimball Arts Center. It was heated, decorated, had 2 bars and 3 flat screen TVs. There was a back area that had curtains and one of the TVs (plus couches, tables, etc) that we often used for interviews, etc. I drank about 3 beers there and then Clayton and I went back to the house to change our clothes. This was our first night out on the town, so we didn't really have the lay of the land yet. We went to the "New Frontier Lounge". New Frontier is the new pet project of Robert Redford. Its purpose is to restore the "indie vibe" back to Sundance. It features new, experimental art that is often technology based. This is where I met Xxaviar, the Frenchman. If you've heard this story, don't ruin it for the other kids. This guy Xxaviar was crazy. I'm standing in front of the hors d'oeuvre table and stuffing my face (you'll come to realize I do relatively little eating so I take all the food I can get). The exchange goes something like this: (the weird spelling is his weird accent)
Xxaviar: I see you like the skrimp.
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Xxaviar: Skrimp, the skrimp. I cannot eat 'zis. I am, how you say, allergzick to meat, it happen two days ago, tragjic. I prefer 'ze carrot.
Me: Word.
Xxaviar: I am Xxaviar. And you? (He does not wait for me to answer; he simply lifts my Sundance pass as close to his face as possible.) Ah Maggie. (He has that French “g” if you know what I mean, it makes my name sound like phlegm clearing)
Me: Xaviar? X-A-V-I-A-R?
Xxaviar: No. Two X’s. (I think he is joking but his face is dead serious).
Me: Why two x’s?
Xxaviar: An old girlfriend gave to me, I like.
Me: Yeah ok.
Xxaviar: You drink? You have bracelet?
Me: Yep, got my three-drink bracelet.
Xxaviar: No, no, you have my bracelet, I have two.
Me: Thanks man.
Xxaviar: You smoke? We smoke. (He then takes both of our drinks, puts them in his pockets and we walk out front to smoke a cigarette.) I am Mobi Opera.
Me: Say that one more time.
Xxaviar: Mobi Opera. I come with Mobi Opera.
Me: Oh, you're a New Frontier artist?
Xxaviar: I say I am Mobi Opera. (At this point he's shouting as if voice volume is the reason I can't understand him. I decide to let this go.)
Me: And what is Mobi Opera? (He then rambles for 20 minutes explaining it, later I found out from someone else that Mobi Opera is a technology and reality based love story where ordinary people tell their love stories through technology.... yeah ok, so we'll move on...at this point a tall, also French, bald man in - I swear to god- a floor length fur coat, and it looked like a women's coat. The bald man hugs Xxaviar and almost kisses him on the mouth, he then gives me the Euro-double kiss)
Xxaviar: (incoherent Franglish)
Baldy: (incoherent Franglish)
Xxaviar: This is Roxy Lady. (I then realize he is talking about me...yeah ok)
Baldy: Oooo Roxy Lady. (I get the Euro double kiss again and fur coat baldy waltzes inside).
Xxaviar: We cheers! (He removes our drinks from his pocket as Park City Police drive by...close call) Look into my eyes as we cheers roxy lady, I want to see your green eyes.
Me: My eyes are blue.
Xxaviar: No? Those are green.
Me: Um, yeah ok.
Xxaviar: Is cold, inside? (We walk back inside) Let us to the carrots. (Yeah, seriously, he means, lets go back to the carrots...nut job)
I finally shake the weird French guy like an hour later. Clayton and I talk to some of the artists including one guy who had this "memory camera" hooked up to a flat screen. Then there are cameras all over the lounge and the images are put together onto the flat screen...awesome. Whatever it is stores the images for 8 years...nuts. And I look like an asshole in mine. Then Clayton and I talk to a wire image photog named Randall, he's awesome. He gives us some names we can drop to get in places.
Clayton and I then leave and decide we're going to the Airborne party at Sideways bar. We get to the bouncer and people are being turned away left and right, then I drop this little jewel...
Bouncer: Name.
Me: We're with Randall Michelson.
Bouncer: Who's that?
Me: The wire image photographer.
Bouncer: He already left.
Me: No he didn't.
Bouncer: We already have a wire image guy inside.
Me: yeah, but you don't have Randall. He asked us to come and check out the lighting in the venue so he knows which lens to bring.
Bouncer: Wow, I haven't heard that before so it must be true.
Score. We go inside and immediately chat it up with the bar stuff, they're out of alcohol, but the bartender is going to serve us from his personal bottle of whiskey. Gross, but at this point I got a good buzz going, and I ain't picky. I sit down at the bar and start smoking. I almost burn the guy next to me, I apologize, he turns around...its Jake Busey. We take shots of shitty whiskey and pictures and he's awesome. I make Clayton try on the "Airborne Germ Costume" and laugh hysterically. We walk out front to leave. I light a cig. I make it 2 blocks before I need to sit down (cig + altitude + big hill = fuck no). We sit on a park bench and start to laugh at... whatever. Guess who walks up to us, jumps on us and bear hugs us...SCREECH. It takes me 20 more min to shake screech. Then Clayton and I go home, eat food and pass out.