Sundance Stories Part III

Every morning I wake up to a cup of double strong. There is some issue in the kitchen about a turkey burger. The conversation goes like this:

Clayton: I didn't eat the turkey burger.
Margaret: I know you didn't. The turkey burger is still there, the box is just open. Like someone wanted a turkey burger and then changed their minds…
Maggie: Oh shit. I think I tried to eat the turkey burger last night.
Margaret: Well, what happened? Why didn't you eat the turkey burger?
Maggie: I got confused. And what the hell is a turkey burger? Can we quit calling it that?
Clayton: Why? What's wrong with turkey burger?
Maggie: It sounds weird.
Margaret: So what happened?
Clayton: Why's it sound weird?
Maggie: I dunno, turkey's are funny. Turkey burger sounds funny. It does not sound…appetizing…at all.
Margaret: What happened to the damn turkey burger?!
Maggie: I was confused.
Margaret: What's so confusing about a turkey burger?
Maggie: Gross.
Clayton: I still don't understand why you can't call it a turkey burger. You can't laugh at your food?Maggie: The instructions were all complicated. And yeah, I laugh at my food, but only when its DOING something funny…like flying across the lunchroom.
Margaret: Complicated?
Maggie: Yeah the directions were nuts. Hold on, listen to this: (I then pull out the turkey burger) "Open box. Remove turkey burger. Open turkey burger bag. Remove sauce packet. Place turkey burger still in openbag back in open box. Add water to sauce packet and microwave on medium power for 50 seconds. Place turkey burger in open bag in open box into the microwave. Microwave on high power for 4 minutes. Remove box from microwave. Remove turkey burger from bag. Place sauce packet onto turkey burger. Place turkey burger back in bag. Place bag back in box. Place box back in microwave and heat for 1 minute. Let stand in microwave for…" Oh fuck it. Do you see what I'm saying? This shit is ridiculous. So I said fuck the turkey burger and I ate the cheesy enchiladas instead.
Margaret: Oh honey, that one was a Lean Cuisine meal.
Maggie: Awww shit.